thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
