Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
