You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
