We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
