is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
