Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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