Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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