My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
