operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
