I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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