Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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