hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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