Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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