make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
