so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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