Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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