You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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