i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
