i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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