it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
