the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize