Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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