and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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