i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
