Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
