You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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