Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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