she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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