Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
