ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
