Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
