I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize