So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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