I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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