I can't breathe out the right side of my face
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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