went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
