I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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