If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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