used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A bitchslap is in order.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
