I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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