oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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