Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm passing your future prison.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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