Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
