for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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