we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
