I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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