last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
