I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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