I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
