Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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