I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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