just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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