I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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