how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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