Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
