Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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