i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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