Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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